I drummed my fingers against the table, surveying the break room full of models.
Another convention. Another day. I was once again working for another client for another paycheck, counting down the hours until I got to leave my post.
I felt no creative drive. No desire to improve my self. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to produce anything. Other models talked about going to the gym after the day was over. I tried to calculate how many West Wing episodes I could watch before I needed to go to bed.
I think it’s safe to say I was in a rut.
How had I allowed this to happen?
Just a year ago I was hustling to see the end of my Miss Nevada reign through, wondering what possibilities awaited me after I gave up the title. Once I crowned my successor I would have more time for travel, outside interests, and to continue to build upon the relationships I’d created.
It felt like I’d spent most of the last six months just recovering from my year, waiting for something else exciting to happen.
But why was I waiting for the Universe to put something into motion for me? When had that EVER worked?
Break was over. The dozen or so models filed back to the floor to finish out the day. I went back to reciting literature on Toshiba products, discussing with techies and business men the importance of our innovations. But my mind churned in a different direction.
Nothing positive ever manifested from me playing it safe. Hadn’t I learned by now that my biggest growing moments came from me being uncomfortable and throwing myself into the unknown?
I needed to get out of here.
But you don’t have money to travel, said that Practical voice inside my head. You need to stay and work and build up a savings for your ‘future’.
My internal battle had begun.
Why? My adventurous side fought back. You’ve had six months to do that. You’ve saved nothing and been miserable. How’s that worked out so far?
Where would you go? You haven’t traveled solo in a very long time. You wouldn’t even remember how, Practicality argued.
Adventure huffed. Who says I’d have to go alone? Just because you haven’t TRIED traveling with someone else doesn’t mean you couldn’t.
Well, think about the aftermath. So you go somewhere. What are you going to do when you get back? You’ll regret leaving and taking time away from building a career.
Practicality seemed satisfied with ending the conversation there.
No. Adventure wasn’t done yet. Give me ONE example of a trip you’ve regretted taking. Every time you leave you come back more determined and focused and driven. Give me just one example of a trip that wasn’t worth the time and money and we won’t go.
Practicality faltered. Adventure took the silence as agreement and ran with the opportunity.
The decision was made. It was time to go somewhere. And soon. Another day of product demonstrating and I was going to pull my hair out. I left that day with a new found sense of motivation.
As it just so happened, that evening a fellow travel blogger messaged me on Facebook.
“How do you feel about a joint trip?” He asked.
I guess it turns out once you start taking action, the Universe does, too.
Here we go again…