Ever wondered what runs through the mind of a fashion model while she’s walking down a 72 ft. long runway? Me too. I mean, they always look angry and hungry. ARE they angry and hungry? Are they thinking about food? Do they feel pretty? Are they worried about the tempo of the music? Are they worried about falling? Really, the number of questions I have on the subject are endless.
Luckily, I recently had the privilege of walking for a few different lines for LA Fashion Week, unveiling the fall collections of some talented designers (including my sponsor, Tatyana Designs).
I took the opportunity during to do a little observational research, monitoring my own thought process as a means for FINALLY answering my burning questions. (Besides, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop,” I can’t think of anything else that vexes me more). I tried my best to maintain awareness and log away my thoughts. Here’s what I recall…
REAL THOUGHTS OF A RUNWAY FASHION MODEL
Okay, stay in the middle of the runway. Stay in the middle of the runway. Otherwise the guy backstage with the headset will likely blow a fuse.
What does my face look like right now? I’m going for nonchalantly awesome. Is that coming across? Do I look like a casual badass?
How are my lines?
Am I going to fall?
Will I successfully get my hand in my pocket without looking at the pocket? Will anyone notice if I miss?
Am I holding this pose long enough?
One hippopotamus… Two hippopotamus… Three hippopotamus… How many more hippos before I’m up here too long?
Okay, walk on the outside of the stage as you go back. Don’t edge the next girl out. Or maybe do. It might make that Models Falling Down website.
Are people judging me too, or just the clothes? Does anyone even care what I look like?
I bet my head could be shaved right now and someone would call it art.
Think bored. Don’t smile. The less it looks like you’re enjoying this the better the photos will look.
Why IS that I wonder?
I wonder what would happen if I make this pose… Cameras are still flashing… No-one’s gasped aloud.
What should I eat tonight?
You know what sounds good, self? A burger.
A burger with CHEESE.
Do I add a milkshake? Oh, why not? Live a little.
Plus you totally fit into your dresses, so you deserve it.
Who knew you could be hired based upon how you walk? They never tell you that on Career Day in elementary school.
I’m really lucky they found those shorts before I went out.
Why yes, Lady In The Front Row, I am at ease wearing this couture gown because I wear titanium dresses everyday. In fact, this is NBD. You should see me when I dress up. At least, I’m glad that’s how I’m coming across to you.
Is that how I’m coming across to you? Give me a sign, Lady In The Front Row. Are you impressed with my walking talent?
These heels are HIGH. Can anyone tell I’m wobbly?
Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down… What ever happened to those?
I wonder how long it will take me to take off this glitter mask.
If it’s too difficult I suppose I could get away with this look for another day or two. I’m in LA. People do things like this… I’m sure.
If they don’t, I can always go back to Vegas. No one would judge me there.
OH! Fries too! You can dip fries IN the milkshake you order. #genius
Why are you thinking in hashtags?
Did that dresser seriously just tell me to suck it in?
No but really, which camera do I look at?
Oh yeah, don’t forget to enjoy this, self.
Because really, how lucky are you?
SHOW DONE! BURGER = SUCCESS!
And that, style sleuths, is how that goes. At least… In my head.
So now that I’ve eaten, what should I document next?